Hola!

We're baaack! In one of our favorite places with some of our favorite people! CABO! It has been so much more enjoyable this time now that Natalie "gets" it and is really having fun. Tiffanie's family is here also and Natalie is in LOVE with "Baby Easton" we are always checking to see if he is awake yet.

She was amazing on the flights down. Even our seat buddies commented on how great she did. Whew. That could have been really bad. Especially since I was a little nervous about flying internationally...alone...with a 2 year old. Once we arrived in Cabo, I could tell she'd had just about enough. She was running around the airport, playing with the retractable partitions, waving at all of the mean looking security agents, and making friends with other kids in line.

Our first full day here was a bit of a downer as it rained all day long. Really hard. Luckily, we were both pretty happy to be off of an airplane and we found other things to do.

Yesterday I took her to the beach. I started mentioning the beach on the airplane and she immediately started cowering. "Sharks? Sharks, Mommy?" What?!? How does she even know about sharks? I'm guessing it's from Nemo. Or Ariel? All I know is the poor girl is traumatized. When we went down to get our toes wet in the waves she was beyond scared. Didn't want the sharks to get her. So, we played in the sand with a couple of red solo cups instead.

Yesterday she was really excited to swim so that took up a big part of the day. She had decided early on this trip that she would like to use the hot tub as her personal toilet. GROSS. I'm sure the maintenance men just hate us. We had a banner day today when she actually told me in advance and we made it to the potty in time! WAHOO! Lucky for her, she is no longer banned from swimming. :)

Last night we went up to the restaurant on the top floor for a free appetizer "fiesta" and it was actually pretty fun. They had live music and gave each girl a rose. Natalie held on tight to one and danced and danced to the music with a couple of other random girls. She was obsessed with the orange stickers they put on our shirts and would not give it up. Even today, even though it has zero stick left in it, she will routinely attempt to stick it in random places on her face.

Today we woke up early and walked down to the Marina and wandered around. It was such a fun little trip. She is talking so much more and so interested in everything we see and everyone we pass. She has started saying "hola" and loves how everyone here talks like Dora! Right now she is trying to "help" Easton walk around while she tries to eat an apple which is nearly larger than her entire head.

The boys and Tiffanie went fishing this morning and had a fun time. We will be dining on their successes tonight. Why does this make me nervous? I don't know. But it does. For some reason fish caught and prepared by complete strangers sound safer to me? That doesn't sound right. I will eat. And it will be good. :)

We have just a few more days and then it's back to life as usual. I'm not ready for that at all. This break has been so great. Natalie was with her dad for Christmas. That was hard. My family had gone ahead to Mexico, so I spent the holiday with my Adam who was (lucky for me) not going home this year. It was a great Christmas, it really was.

I can hardly believe this year is over. And what a year it has been. Can't wait for 2010. Bring it on.

"Dumb Mom"

I realized today I really need to be writing things down because I am simply NOT going to remember them. This became especially apparent when earlier this week Natalie said, "Dumb Mom!" over and over again. It took me a minute to understand she was saying, "Come, Mom!" I thought it was a little young for name calling.

She has also been way into playing pretend. Yesterday she opened every kitchen cupboard within reach and started cooking me dinner. That was the first time she has EVER played in the cupboards.

Tonight she was fascinated with Adam's monkey. It was her baby and she wanted me to give it a horse back ride. So, I did. And then SHE wanted to give him a ride. So, she did. Even though the picture is a little blurry, I think it's pretty adorable.


Natalie was sick all of last week and it's taken its toll on the both of us. I just can't seem to catch up on sleep and she's still not feeling 100 percent so we're struggling a little. At work, Kelsi keeps catching stupid little things I've completely missed. Things I typically would have no problem remembering. At home, I can't get things done fast enough to get myself back into bed. I'm hoping a good weekend will have us both back to normal on Monday.


Butter. I can not get enough. Okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration...
I remember growing up, my grandpa would make "hot cakes" anytime the grandkids were around. At the time I thought putting butter on them was simply delaying the time I could get a bite of syrupy goodness into my mouth. I didn't think it make one bit of a difference in taste. Over the next 20 plus years I have added a little more butter into my diet but lately, it's getting a little out of control. I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that my TV is stuck (literally can't change the channel) on the Food Network? I know watching THIS much Paula Deen has to have some sort of influence. All I know is I thing EVERYTHING tastes better with butter, and it makes me sad to think of all those butter-less hot cakes I have eaten.

Life is good.

I don't have much time, but I wanted to be sure to write just a bit so I can always look back and remember how great my life is right now.

A few highlights:

*Natalie is officially the best kid. Ever. She is so good natured and helpful and obedient. Very independent right now. Wanting to do everything herself. "ME DO!" She is talking up a storm, although it's mostly in "Nataleese" and I seem to be one of the only people who can actually understand her. :) She loves to give kisses and will pull my face into hers so we kiss and then she will hold me there and giggle. She will also randomly run up to me and want a "UG" (hug). I love it.

* The people I work with are amazing. I know how blessed I am to have employment right now. So I would honestly be happy to have an income, no matter where I worked, but it makes it so nice to actually enjoy the people I spend most of my day with. I feel like I'm finally "getting" what it is I'm supposed to be doing all day long. Not bad, considering I've been there for ten months now... I laugh so much during the day. It has been such a happy place in my life.

* Adam passed his driving test today! He took it early so he could drive to school on Monday! HOLY COW! I think he's actually floating he's so excited.

* My dating life is still going INCREDIBLY well. If only the west side of the state wasn't quite so far west. (sigh)

* I think everyone I know is sick, was recently sick, or thinks they are getting sick. I think they need to be better hand washers. Ha.

* Speaking of hand washers... Let me remind you my desk is smack-dab in front of the patient bathroom. (I know, I'm pretty low on the employee totem pole) When did people STOP washing? It's beyond disgusting! Just know that the ones you think wash, don't. And the ones you think don't wash, well, they don't wash either.

Josh is MARRIED!

I can hardly believe it, but it's true! My brother is a HUSBAND. Wrap your brain around THAT one! :) The wedding was last weekend in Driggs, Idaho and this weekend was the Moses Lake reception. It was great to see so much family at the wedding to support them. We had our family from Edmonton drive down and I loved seeing them. It always makes my heart happy to be with them. It reminds me of how much I have missed having them around. I ended up with the 24 hour flu and missed a big portion of things but the parts I was able to attend were just perfect. Who knew how beautiful Driggs was? Not I.
I love Tiffanie! So strange to have a sister-in-law. :) They were so happy that day. It was worth all of the travel and sickness and whatever else to just see how much they love each other. The day really was perfect. I'm so happy for them! (Yes, I stole the pictures from an ibook gallery. I just don't know how else to get them without asking for help, again.) Welcome to the family!

Baby Come Back

I miss her.

This is her first week with him. Ever.
This is actually the first time she's been away from me for longer than 40 hours. Ever.
I'm not okay. I had her for a bit on Monday, and she was not okay either. You should have seen her.

I hate this. Hate it.

I have so many feelings all of the time. And none of them are good. Please don't call me an overprotective mother like it's a bad thing. You would be too in my situation. And please don't tell me everything will be okay. It's not today.

A part of me is missing and I want it back. Now.

I miss everything about her.

I wonder what she's thinking. Does she think I've abandoned her? This is so unnatural. I hope she knows I never meant this life for her. If I had had ANY clue, I would have spared her this. The guilt is so overwhelming.

He lives here now.
Somehow it's even worse knowing she's only a few miles away. I want to go get her. Bring her home. But, I can't.

I'm beginning to think my divorce was just a warm up for this. THIS is the hardest part, the hardest THING I've ever known. Maybe that sounds dramatic. Or exaggerated. But it doesn't feel that way. This is hard.

Three more days.

My Life.

I don't even know where to start after a hiatus this long.

I'm doing really, really well. I finally feel like I'm finding myself again. The sad part is I've only recently realized how much of myself I had let go in the past several years. I've missed me. It feels good to be back.

FINALLY....after years and years and YEARS of waiting...I have braces! I've been self-conscious of my teeth for as long as I can remember. And while it's humbling and awkward and a little painful, I'm so happy to know that in a matter of six months (give or take) I will be able to smile without having to think about it. Natalie thinks they're great. Whenever I'm holding her and I smile she'll touch them and say "Pretty" and while I know they are really not, I'm sure glad she thinks so.

Speaking of Natalie...I love her! So much personality in such a little body. (Okay, not so little anymore. In fact, she's at the size that, if I'm holding her and not anticipating her next move, she could literally take us both down.) She loves dogs and bugs and drawing. I know it sounds like a bit of an exaggeration, but home slice is already hilarious. I just love her. And she loves me. The single mom thing is hard. I struggle daily with the amount of time we're apart. It's probably the hardest part of the whole divorce. Just not what I wanted. But, I didn't really get a vote. So, we are making the best of our time together and I hope someday she will understand I wanted things to be so different.

Hmmm....what else?
Oh, I know... I'm DATING again! And he's GREAT. And it feels good. (And as if dating again at thirty isn't awkward enough, remember I now have braces...not cool. I know. I'm not even trying to be.)

Okay, that's about as much as I have in me for an update right now. I really am recommitting to an improved blogging effort...

JULY?!

How has it been EIGHT MONTHS since we had seen each other? Not right. Not right at all. Thanks for hanging out with us!